Grrrrrr

I'm doing great with my eating. I've lost 7lbs!  Now I know it's mostly water weight but I feel great and even when I wanted to eat a candy bar I didn't.

I haven't run since Sunday. Now it's freezing cold outside. My plan is to go to the gym tomorrow and run as soon as I get off the air. It's been busy busy at work and I haven't been able to do that. Tomorrow is the day.

I'm here writing so that's well.

So why the grrrr?  I let the littlest crap get to me. It's been a day of total frustration for me. I can battle with the best of them but make me feel like I'm betrayed or someone is doing something just to get under my skin and I go nuts. It's dumb. It's childish and I should be able to deal with it.

I can't.

I even tell myself daily don't sweat the small petty crap.

I obviously don't listen to myself very well at all. Is it a woman thing?  Is it a confidence thing?  Whyyyyyy?!

I'm married. Have 3 beautiful children. I have a successful career. But I let something someone says rule my day.

It almost makes me not able to get my thoughts together as you can tell from this lovely writing.

It's not the diet thing either because this even happens when I'm fat so...

Eventually I will figure it out. Any guidance would be awesome.

C

good bad good

Update: Healthy eating is right on target.
Running not so much. My left ankle shin whatever the hell it is bothering me is really bothering me. Now it Hurts To Walk. Getting older blows goats.

Obviously I'm here writing so that's good.  I'm starting to stress. We had a meeting today of everything coming up and i started thinking of everything going on and I almost started hyperventilating. Somehow we manage every year but I always freak out.

My brain is a little blank and a little tired. I have a lot to say but not today.

I Failed, and it's ok...

Yes I missed a day of writing. Yesterday in the rush of getting the kids ready to go back to school and preparing myself to get back in a routine I didn't write. So this may be long.

I did run yesterday and it hurt. More on that later.

My main frustration came in the kitchen. I cooked a ham the day before and I thought what a perfect opportunity to try and make my MIL bean soup. So got the ingredients and went for it. The family had lasagna for dinner. That should tell you how it turned out.

Ask me to bake a cake or cookies and they are perfect. Ask me to make a savory meal and I'm screwed. I follow the recipes, I try and buy the best ingredients and it never fails it sucks. I try so hard to cook well and I just can't. How does this work?  Downs God just decide one day you love food so you won't be able to cook. Now I can cook. I make great chili and can grill better than most guys. Oh well, maybe someone will get me some cooking classes for a gift one day.

Now for today. I was totally out of practice with the get to school routine. Got the girls to school but had to come back to make my lunch, eat some breakfast and make sure I got everything.  I have to do that once a week. Someone is going to have a meltdown over clothes or lunch or hair or something and will make us late.

Get back to work and I was so ready to get ahead of the game...didn't happen. Then I said well  gonna get all my paperwork done while I'm on the air, nope. So basically I accomplished nothing I wrote on my to do list at the time I wanted to complete it. So frustrating.

This brings me to my run. I spoke with Kevin Kline this morning. He runs ultra races and marathons and stuff.  We are pretty surenI have a shin splint. So beat thing is rest so that's what I'm doing today. Resting. Then before my next  run, I'm slapping on the compression socks.

I'm falling asleep now. Back tomorrow.

C
P.s. Excuse typos , I did this in my phone.

I'm Tired

Day 3 of 2015 and I'm tired.  Every other Friday I do a live broadcast from Stampede Houston.  We have so much fun but we are there until 1am and frankly I'm tired the next day.  So today this is what you get.

I ran today and drug my neighbor with me (who also went to Stampede with me last night)

I had my non fat greek yogurt and fresh berries for breakfast my absolute fave!

And I have now written for the day.

My ankles hurt, I'm tired and I want vodka.

That is all you're getting today.

C

Gnawing My Arm off

Day 2 of 2015:

Running every day is one of my goals and I have accomplished that so far.  I decided to start the C25K app over from the start because the last time I did it I shuffled through the run intervals which I'm pretty sure helped me finish my 5K but at the slowest possible time.  So now I am running at a good pace during those runs.  I can definitely tell the difference between this time and last time I started this.  My ankles are still hurting though, gotta figure that out.  I'm pretty sure it is the amount of weight I have coming down on my ankles.  Which brings us to the next goal...but first a run selfie.

I take a selfie after every run.  Yes obnoxious but it proves I did it.

Another goal of 2015 was to get my butt back in gear on my healthy eating.  You know good habits.  I started off great this morning.  Even went to the mall with the entire family and didn't feel the need to stress eat.  By the time we were on our way home though this was me...

Seriously, I was about to eat my arm.  I hadn't starved myself at all.  I had my SPARK before my run.  Yes I'm a Spark junkie, I LOVE IT!  I had a meal replacement bar which was delicious, had a cup of coffee (sorry that will never go away) and that I was good.  So I went into crazy ravenous mode, I had to get out of the house.  The youngest was asleep so I took that as my opportunity to go where else?  The grocery store!  That was a genius idea while I was hungry.  It made me even hungrier.  So I got home after buying every bit of healthy food I could think of and before the groceries were even in the fridge I was chowing down on some string cheese, and then a pear, oh and some edamame to top it off.  

I can do this.  I have done it before, just why did I start on a Friday of all days?  Oh because my co-worker Lisa who also started today decided we would be over our bitchiness by the time we go back to work on Monday.  That has yet to be seen...

C

Goal 3 of writing every day accomplished!

Bring It On 2015

So here we go again.  Another year with another list of what I call goals.  Not resolutions because I know if I call it that they won't happen.  That's how my brain works.  This is one of my goals, to write here everyday.  It may be a short post a long post but I HAVE to write something here daily.

2014 brought a lot of good and crazy for us.  Chris got a new job, my middle wonder started kinder or what we call "big school."  The youngest God Bless Him has grown into this giant toddler who has a personality that goes for days.  My oldest is apparently the best student ever and a genius...oh and a damn good little softball player.  That brings us to me.

2014 was a huge year for my job.  The station became the CMA Station of the Year and Marconi Station of the Year.  2 HUGE honors that came with A LOT of hard work and dedication from what I think is the best team in radio.  Personally I was searching for something...I still am.  I started a business out of my home which is basically just fun for me but became a business so I could be legit.  I became a lover of beer, which is a BAD thing.  This brings me to my second goal.  GET MY BUTT BACK IN GEAR.  I was doing so well eating and exercising.  Not so much dieting but just being smart.  With all that new work stuff came the stress eating monster so here I am back at being Thick In The Middle.

One thing I did come to love in 2014 is running.  I completed my first 5K without stopping which was a HUGE accomplishment for me.  I have always hated to run thanks to it being used as punishment in athletics.  I despised it.  The station sponsors the 9/11 Heroes run every year.  Last year I walked most of it.  This year I wanted to run the whole thing.  Didn't matter how long it took I just wanted to finish.  I did it.  It was an awesome feeling.

5K DONE!

Now the station is sponsoring the annual Rodeo Run...yeah I'm the team captain of the slow people.  My 3rd goal is to run everyday.  Doesn't matter how far or how long just run.  See how that ties into my 2nd goal?  I'm smart like that.

There are some other challenges coming up that I know we are going to have to face but I have to go do my run for the day so no talking about it now.

Here's to an amazing 2015!

Until tomorrow...

C